The Snake and Miley
by Crackpot Theories
Summary: What! A Metal Gear and HM crossover? Snake captures Miley and tries to romance her while Jackson and Robbie Ray search for her. Also Raiden meets Lilly.
1. Chapter 1

_**Note- In MGS continuity this takes place right after MGS2 and in HM continuity Season 2**_

_**Disclaimer- This story is under free use and parody law**_

_**I apologize to Mr. Kojima and Disney in advance **_

Once every year, media characters from all parts of the universe come together and have a party.

Solid Snake hated these sorts of things and he would not have gone if Otacon hadn't hidden his last pack of cigarettes and wouldn't give them back unless Snake came. While Otacon was intoxicated and being dragged into a booth by the White Queen and Raiden was having an arm wrestling contest with the Burger King, Snake was in his BOX in one corner of the room desperately waiting for the party to be over.

Then out of the corner of his eye the saw a beautiful brunette chatting it up with Superman and Simon Belmont. Snake took out his CAMREA and took a picture of her.

For the rest of the night he watched her.

!

Later at the home of Solid Snake and Otacon

Otacon put and ice pack on his head and was lying down on the couch. Last night had been such a blur to him, all he remembered was the White Queens blonde hair and her lips on his dic-

"OTACON" shouted Snake.

Otacon moaned and slowly got up as Snake showed him the picture he took of the girl

"Who is this" Snake asked with the same anger and determination that he would if he was tracking Metal Gear.

"Snake… I think that's Miley Stewart from the Disney Channel Universe" Otacon said and he put his head down and slept.

Snake then web searched everything he could on this, Miley Stewart.

!

Later Otacon got up after his hangover was over and saw Snake gearing up.

"Snake….. what are you doing ?" Otacon asked. "Has there been any new Intel on Metal Gear or the Patriots" ?

"Otacon….. there's more to life than chasing giant bipedal robots and stopping organizations that hold the world in there hands" said Snake as he loaded the mk.22

"This is about her isn't it" said Otacon

"Yes it is its" said Snake

"What's your plan" asked Otacon

I plan to capture her and take out for a romantic night" Snake said quite nonchalantly in contrast to Otacon's shocked reaction.

"First if all Snake" Otacon said as he tried to regain composure, "Your 45 and she's 16 that's pedophilia, this isn't like you "!

"Otacon, Fan fiction has no rules; anyone can have any type of relationship with anything. Like when fangirls make Yaio drawings of Goku and Vegeta or those sick Anthro and inflation freaks" said Snake. "And remember you wrote that Heavy Rain Fanfic.

SNAKE ! Otacon said, annoyed and slightly embarrassed "I won't let you do it…."

Just then Snake CQCed Otacon to the ground, thereby breaking his CQC ban before MGS4.

Snake then snuck off into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

At the Stewart Home

"Bye Mile, I love you Bud" Robbie Ray said as he and Jackson walked out the door

Robbie and Jackson where going out for a father-son bowling tournament against there annoying neighbor Mr. Dontzig. Robbie Ray said as he shut the door, "I swear Jackson if a man of that size can have children than anything is possible".

When the two men left Miley and Lilly where alone in the house.

Lilly then asked "What do you want to do, Miley"?

Miley said "Well I found Jackson a box of Jackson's old things we can look through and mess with". Miley got the box, brought it to Lilly and then went upstairs to find a hammer. Lilly rummaged through the box. "Hey wait what's this thing called _Custer's Revenge_".

Lilly was then tranquilized by Snake through the open window. Snake then snuck into the house but tripped and destroyed Robbie's guitar Lulu. Miley immediately came down from the noise. Miley then chucked the hammer at Snake but missed. She tried to tackle him but Snake CQCed her to the ground and dragged her away

!

Later that night at the Stewart Home 

"Miles were home "Jackson yelled as he helped his father carry the mountainous and heavy bowling trophy into the house.

When they got the trophy in the house they saw Lilly asleep and Miley gone; footprints were all over the house from the sand outside.

"**Lulu**" Robbie yelled and rushed to his broken guitar. He curdled the pieces softly in his strong hands and he let out a horrible cry that woke Lilly up.

!

At that same time in Green Hill Zone

"Sonic, what was that" asked Tails

"That was the sound that only comes from true suffering" said Sonic "Just like my fans when they found out I was a werewolf".

!

Back at the Stewart Home

"Jackson, bring me my gun, where going to find out who did this!" said Robbie Ray with hate and rage that almost never graced those normally gentle and kind eyes.

"You mean find the person who took Miley "said Jackson

"Uh… um… yea that too" said Robbie Ray

"Mr. Stewart I didn't know you owned a gun" said Lilly shocked.

"Its how I keep boys away from Miley "Robbie Ray said

"And what about Hannah Montana's security guard Roxy who is stronger and has military training" Lilly asked

"Because they made this" Robbie said as he cocked his shotgun "personal".

After one of the worst action lines ever Robbie and Jackson go off.

Lilly then sat on the couch.

!

Meanwhile Raiden was on his NODE using a dating service Solidus recommended after he broke up with Rose.

"There it found a match" said Raiden "Miley Stewart n Malibu, CAL. Well I'll go to her house right now! "


End file.
